Tips for Planning a Nigerian Wedding

Tips for Planning a Nigerian Wedding
So you just got engaged and you’re about to start planning a Nigerian wedding…

First of all, congratulations because now all the “when will you marry?” questions can finally stop.

dancing gif

But don’t celebrate too quickly because remember, you’re Nigerian/marrying a Nigerian/in the vicinity of Nigerians.  The planning is about to start and as someone who has experienced the trauma trials joys of planning a Nigerian wedding, I feel the need to share some survival tips so you won’t be too surprised as time goes on.

Tips for Planning a Nigerian Wedding – Pt 1

1. Relax, this is not really your wedding
You're the bride/groom. And so what?

Nigerian parents be like ‘you’re the bride/groom. And so what?’

Remember that feeling of happiness when you got engaged? Multiply that by 1,000,000,000 and that’s how your parents feel. Because FINALLY, their time has come and they will shine.

When bae and I got engaged, one of the questions our parents asked was “what do you envision for your wedding day?”. In my mind, this was an opening for us to express ourselves and the dreams we had for the wedding. But alas, as time went on, it became clear that the question was just for formality sake. Don’t be fooled, your parents have a vision of what they want the wedding to look like, who they want to invite, music they will dance to, food they will eat, and aso ebi they will wear. Whether you show up or not, they will turn up with their friends.

Best Practice = Pick your battles. Most things aren’t worth fighting for – I say this now, but it was a hard lesson. Plus, on the wedding day, you should be so busy turning up with bae and friends that you won’t notice the little things you were crying about during the planning process.

 

2. Nigerian Vendors will call ridiculous amounts of money

It is when you start planning a wedding that you will fully understand the mindset of your fellow Nigerians. Everybody wants to hammer [to make it big; hit the jackpot] and for vendors, every wedding is an opportunity to do just that. I once got a quote for bridesmaids bouquets and the price that this vendor called for a single bouquet…

Excuse me, did I ask for the cost of all the flowers in Nigeria?

Excuse me, did I ask for the cost of all the flowers in Nigeria?

Lowkey, I think when vendors have their annual meeting, this is their agenda:

tumblr_llruc6vrDc1qinvcko1_400 

Best Practice = Start planning the wedding with a certain budget in mind. If it’s not an essential item, don’t get it or look for a much cheaper alternative.  If it’s essential, still look for a cheaper alternative or bargain like your life depends on it – because it just might.

 

3. “Rude” is one of the languages you’ll learn

There’s no other way to explain this than with a true story.

My maid of honor and I started a group chat with a potential designer that would sew the bridesmaids dresses. We had never met the person nor seen much of her work before, so naturally we were full of questions because we needed make sure she was the right person for the job. I mean, this was going to be one of the biggest days of my life so of course I wanted my girls to look fabulous. We asked for some samples of her work, a price quote, whether she’d be able to make alterations within a day (some bridesmaids were flying in a day before the wedding) – but apparently, we were asking for too much because she sent this message shortly after:

 f32ce92682716585bea797954cd8571dNigerian Wedding designer madness

Honestly. What is customer service?

I think what cracked me up was the fact that she left the group chat. Like she said her thing and then she was like *drops mic*. Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe my emotion. But at that point, I had acquired my PhD in ignoring and moving on so I did just that. After all, there are many fish in the sea.

kanye shrug

Anger cannot sew dress abeg

Best Practice = Call on Jesus. He’s the only one that can save you from cursing these people out.

 

4. “On Time” is a relative term

We all know that Nigerians and being late are like this:

Screen Shot 2016-04-06 at 5.32.44 PM/

But when it comes to wedding planning, the frustration can get real if something isn’t ready on time. We had to substitute some items on the day of because they weren’t ready on time.

Best Practice = Order/buy/sew/rent everything well in advance. In fact, tell vendors your wedding is 2 months before the actual date. But if something is late or taking too much time, don’t sweat it, find an alternative.

 

5. “Natural makeup” is also very relative

There are a few things in life that annoy me.

  1. Burnt plantain
  2. No plantain
  3. Instagram brows & caked makeup

Caked makeup seems to be the specialty of some makeup artists in Nigeria. I had a bridal consultation with one makeup artist and the first thing I said was that I wanted very natural makeup for my wedding. Actually, the first thing I really said was “what are you doing?” because she just started painting my face without asking me what I wanted. I’m actually so confused about why people don’t ask what you want before starting the work but that’s a different story. Anyway, the makeup artist nodded – you know that nod they give when they’re going to do whatever the hell they want anyway?

Yes, I’ve heard but I will still do what I want

Yeah. so she started to paint my face like:

Very natural isn’t it?

After this disaster session – which happened the day before my wedding by the way – I booked a new makeup artist. There was no time for a consultation with the new person so I put my trust in her Instagram page – because after all, everything is real on Instagram right?

LOL.

Let’s just say I shed some real tears on my wedding day.

Best Practice = Always have a bridal consultation and insist on the look you want. If they have to wipe your face and start from scratch, so be it. After all, it’s your day and you’re allowed to be a diva. But don’t shout too much oh! Before they design your face and leave. I have warned you.

Watch this space for the continuation in my next blogpost. Till then, happy wedding planning!

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25 Comments

  1. April 8, 2016 / 12:56 PM

    This cracked me up Valid points/tips you have given

    • Tatashey
      April 12, 2016 / 11:13 PM

      Lol yep, I learned by experience but people should learn from me. No need to go through this yourself haha

  2. April 8, 2016 / 2:23 PM

    LOOL

    Abby!! Would you be my wedding planner, please?
    I can’t go through the headache y’all describe.

    Abeg!

    • Tatashey
      April 12, 2016 / 11:11 PM

      LOL, I would, but I don’t think I can endure all of this again 😛

  3. B
    April 8, 2016 / 6:56 PM

    I laughed so hard. Really good write up. I can just imagine your experience.

    • Tatashey
      April 12, 2016 / 11:11 PM

      LOL it was the experience of all experiences oh!

    • Tatashey
      April 12, 2016 / 11:14 PM

      LOL,I’m really considering it

  4. Maryam
    April 13, 2016 / 1:57 AM

    This is hilarious, but then so true. The frustration one goes through, thank God you pulled through.

    • Tatashey
      April 13, 2016 / 12:29 PM

      LOL yeah, I’m glad I made it through.

  5. Ade A Majekodunmi
    April 15, 2016 / 12:02 PM

    Thank so much for the heads up, Cousin!!
    Really funny experiences shared.

    That designers melodrama has got to be the typical example of just how non-existent the words customer and service are in this country… ( Saying this from multiple mall “situations”)- same goes with the customer is always (not) right mentality.

    It is well. Amen!

    • Tatashey
      April 22, 2016 / 7:25 PM

      LOL! “Customer is always right”.
      It is well!

  6. Ntami
    April 16, 2016 / 12:17 PM

    Lmaoooo am I really sure I want to get married Bruhh
    That designer was soo butt hurt though, simple doubts you cannot take lmao

    • Tatashey
      April 22, 2016 / 7:29 PM

      LMAO as in! Simple doubt. Smh

  7. Ezinne
    April 16, 2016 / 12:26 PM

    LMHO!!!
    Design your face and leave you indeed.

    My tiny input, in this day and age of YOUTUBE tutorials where 3 out of 5 girls are fab with their make-up, you will have a friend or friend’s friend who would touch up your face real nice without you looking too hard to recognise.

    Again I ask, what is bridal make-up?

    • Tatashey
      April 22, 2016 / 7:29 PM

      LOL! Totally agree with you Ezinne.

  8. Oby
    April 17, 2016 / 3:33 AM

    Splendid article my Dear. I feel so much prepared for mine coming soon…..:)
    Will take your pointers!

    • Tatashey
      April 22, 2016 / 7:30 PM

      Take it girl! No need to suffer unnecessarily, I have suffered for all of us 😀

  9. Bukky I
    April 24, 2016 / 7:53 PM

    Omg!! The designer just left the group?!?!? How rude!! I can’t even begin to mention my own horror stories but your wedding was really beautiful so it gives me hope that despite all the hiccups, all will still be well…Off to go read Part 2 now 😛

    • Tatashey
      May 5, 2016 / 8:55 AM

      LOL! I can only imagine your own experience.

  10. May 6, 2016 / 2:55 PM

    whaoo
    its really a great write up and piece of information for the brides to be. i like all the stuff above.

  11. Elizabeth
    June 17, 2016 / 7:53 PM

    well said I honestly thought the designer part was a joke until. …

  12. July 31, 2016 / 8:41 PM

    Really enjoyed reading this post especially the situation with the designer and mark-up artists. Glad to know everything worked out well in the end

  13. June 29, 2017 / 4:30 PM

    nice of you to have excluded the designers name. lol!!

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